Holding Onto Faith

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Holding Onto Faith

Anonymous

Anjali loved kids. So did her husband. They had a love marriage and always believed that whenever they were ready, they would start trying for a child. The thought never crossed their mind that they might have trouble conceiving. 

One year passed, then two, then three. It was almost four years since they had been trying. Anjali was disheartened. The endless rounds to doctors started taking its toll on her, both physically and mentally. No one seemed to be able to identify why she wasn’t being able to conceive. There was no apparent medical reason and was put into the slot of unexplained infertility. Both Anjali and her husband had taken medication and been through two failed cycles of IVF. Nothing helped. They were on the brink of depression. 

Anjali was spiritual by nature but not overtly religious. A friend suggested to her that she start meditating to find answers and focus her energies on conceiving. Anjali agreed; by this time, she was ready to try almost anything. She started mediating daily and appealing to the higher powers to guide her. Over the days she started feeling a sense of calm descend upon her. She believed that she was not meant to be childless. Every time she started to feel agitated, she went to ‘her’ corner of the house and sit with her eyes closed. There was no form or particular God she appealed to; instead, she appealed to the universe. She knew she would be an amazing mother. She deserved a chance to prove it. 

It is said that when one focus with all ones being on something, day after day, the cosmos aligns itself to ensure that the wish is fulfilled. Such is the power of prayer. Anjali felt this happening with every day that passed. Now it just remained to be seen what or who would be the medium to make her fervent wish come true. 

One day, out of the blue, Anjali’s husband casually mentioned a doctor who had helped his colleague conceive. This doctor believed in helping couples conceive naturally as opposed to painful and expensive fertility treatments. He was not a fertility expert and Anjali had her doubts whether he could help. During her meditation she sought guidance and decided to visit this doctor. 

On her first visit the doctor asked Anjali if either of her parents was diabetic. She said yes. He immediately asked her to get a test done which so far had not been done. The reports showed that Anjali was insulin resistant. The doctor then told her to follow a strict regimen of diet and exercise, alongside just one medication. 

In the meantime, Anjali continued on her spiritual journey. She found that even a few minutes of meditation helped her feel one with whatever divinity was present. She continued to believe that she would conceive. In July 2017 she discovered she was pregnant and in February 2018 her twin boys were born. They were almost two months premature. The days that followed were some of the toughest Anjali had ever faced. Her babies were finally here but they were covered with tubes and in the incubator. She couldn’t hold them except under strict supervision, couldn’t cuddle them, couldn’t do all the things she had longed to in all those years she was envisaging having a baby. Her faith was severely tested but Anjali didn’t falter. She continued to hold onto the presence of a higher power in her life and appealed daily to it to bring her babies home. 

The days passed and finally the twins were discharged from the hospital. The moment when Anjali stepped into her house holding the babies was a reaffirmation of all the hours of prayers and meditation. Her faith had been realised. 

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